Maybe you expect a plain book list now. There's many on the web which are really good and complete. So I have decided to provide you with a few pointers to excellent book lists. I will then present a few of my personal favorites.
the list of software engineering books by the Atlantic Systems Guild
Ed Yourdon's favorite books
you will find a rather complete list of pattern books on the patterns home page
Carnegie Mellon University's Software Engineering Insitute (SEI) features a excellent site on software architecture and also a bibliography
for listings on object/relational access layers and object-orientation, visit Cetus-Links, or our pages on object/relational mapping
see also my personal favorites